On a clear day you can see forever.  On a cloudy day you see what you see around you.  On a rainy day, if t is a lovely light spring day you can see through the rain.  On a very heavy, fast pouring rain you cannot see further than your feet can take you.

For years we walked in all kinds of days.  We never questioned things around us.  Things were as they were and there was no point in questioning the obvious.  We were totally invested in our relationship.  It just happened spontaneously, out of need for a partner who would understand, appreciate, trust, respect, excite and love truthfully, as the mirror image of self.  Without narcissism.  With admiration for the perfect match.

We did not know any couples that were so well grounded and perfectly harmonious as we were.  We were not obnoxious.  We just knew that we were exceptional.

One early summer Sunday, on our usual walk through the Green Park outside the city we were holding hands as usual, exchanging glances and smiles of satisfying love.

Suddenly I wanted to tell you how extraordinary our happiness was.  Turning toward you, I realized that your facial expression seldom changes.

“What are you thinking about?”  I asked.

“What a strange question.” I see his right eyebrow rise a bit.

“I will tell you what is strange.  I think you are hiding something from me.”

“What is happening to you?”

“I may be just waking up from a long sleep of false self congratulatory one way mirror image, which now I see is you on both sides.  The visible and the invisible.”

“You are really crazy.  I will not listen to your insane remarks!”

“Oh, good.  Let us, then, stop our perfect charade.”

“Please forgive me.  I did not mean to say that.  I don’t know how those words came out of my mouth.” His voice sounded sincere.

“Sorry, I cannot believe you.  Those words did come out –not only out of your mouth—but also out of your real self.  This was the real you speaking.”

“No, honestly not.  I really did not mean it.  They mean nothing.”

I never heard him pleading before.  I hesitated: should I just drop it?  Why to rock our smoothly sailing boat?

“Granted, maybe you did not give it much thought.  You just responded with the first thing that came to your mind, before you had a chance to feel what you were saying. Those words actually helped you to get something out of your system that only your subconscious mind was waiting to release.”

“Are you talking to me or giving me a lecture?’’

“Let me give you an example:

There is a happy couple, married for ten years.  Wife finds out that the husband is having an affair.  She is crushed and starts packing to leave.  He starts to panic, – he loves her, – he cannot leave without her, etc. etc, etc.

‘Then how could you carry on love-affair for a year?’ she hardly utters the words trough the tears.

Looking uncomfortable and tense he explains,  ‘She does not mean anything to me.  I would never do anything to hurt you.  I don’t know how that happened; it never meant anything to me, etc. etc. etc.’”

“Your example has nothing to do with us.”

“Oh yes, it does.  Indeed,” her voice is pressured.  “As complex as we humans are, we have capacity to accept our whole selves, with the truth, pleasant or not.

“When you say that you do not know how those words came out of your mouth, listen to them carefully and you will discover that those words are your real feelings you are suppressing out of fear to show what your instinctive feelings are.

You made a choice.  If you are ready to accept the truth now, we still may have a second chance.”

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