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My soul needs early intervention. I worry that at not even three an angel or mystic could do an assessment and guess at all the areas of my life in which there would be big trouble. One mystic might say to the invisible buddy, “Oh, look at her and how she can’t even share that donut with her sister. She’s a toddler and in power struggles over food. We’re going to have to watcher closely.” A few years later the guardian they have appointed to watch over me will report in, “I’m not making very good progress with this case. Perhaps you should assign this soul to someone else. She doesn’t learn very quickly and seems to be repeating the same mistakes over and over.”
Her supervisors would ask for a more detailed finding. She’d say, “Well, she has this friend who isn’t very nice to her. Instead of deciding to play alone or look for new friends, she keeps trying to please and change her friend. I’m not even sure I’d call this person a friend. But the worse this friend treats her, the more she fights others for attention.”
The supervisors would shake their head, “having older siblings didn’t help?” “No, the perplexed social worker in the other world would say, “If anything, she just got used to be bossed around. She talks back but she doesn’t realize how that’s not using her power. She keeps arguing and fighting with and digging her heels in and engaging with the very people who are bullying her. You think she’d cry or run or look for the kinder souls, but she keeps going back for more. She is so self absorbed she thinks that if she changes her approach, her looks, her personality these other people will change. She keeps trying to change herself instead of choosing to be with people who accept, embrace and enjoy her company. It’s so discouraging,” the angel says, “because it can’t turn out well.”
The wise elders say, “Bear witness. Be gentle. Offer new opportunities for her to learn. And oh, one more idea, make sure there is a constant influx of pets coming into her life so she will learn about unconditional love as well as the life cycle and loss. Some humans aren’t as easily touched by other human souls but animals can somehow reach them.”
“I’ll try,” the note taking angel says.
And I can’t quite imagine getting out of elementary school for the soul. Actually, some say the soul is on a journey, has all the wisdom and leads the way. Some also say “let me play devil’s advocate” as well when presenting another view point which makes me wonder, does the devil need advocacy? But anyhow I admit only to being green in matters called soul.
Life has and continues to school me and I worry that there will not be enough time for me to get all I need to learn. I worry that I will age out of special services for the soul and flounder and fumble and make obvious and infantile mistakes as though caught on a repeat track.
At least I’ve been in school long enough to know I do not know the deepest meaning of my journey, can’t see the landscape of my life as though a passenger pulling away and seeing houses and cars shrink in mere moments. I’m glad there are classes, workbooks and vocational schools so I have options if my soul isn’t yet ready for the Ivy League education.
In college, my soul would gravitate toward topics I’ve studied for decades, but have yet to master.
Calm 101 – Learn to remain calm amidst chaos.
Deep Breathing 105 – Breathing exercises, and the key to implementation during crisis.
Releasing Tension 213 – Feel young again without those pesky muscle aches.
Special Topics 300 – An independent study in:
Life affirmation – We do our best and move on.
Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda – An exercise in releasing regret.
Trusting Your Inner Voice – You really do know what is best. Learn how to listen to that voice.
Shunning Your Inner Critic – It’s not your fault. Really.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if my soul could go to college! What a leg up! Life lessons learned as early as possible would be such a huge help. To be able to do it in a classroom setting without the pain attached, how great would that be?
Course: Are your Eyes Open? – Topics covered: It’s a gorgeous planet, have you looked lately? How to appreciate simple joys including the smell of rain, warm fires on cold nights, and songbirds. Also covered – Play, it’s not just for childhood.
Course: Marry for Love – Topics covered: Learn to distinguish the huge difference between what you think you are looking for in a mate versus what you need to be happy. Includes learning to look at yourself realistically and accepting others as they are. Bring tissues.
Course: Missed Opportunities – Topics covered: Learn to remember that your time on this earth as well as that of those you love is not just the equivalent of a cosmic sneeze. That time can also be blown away like one of God’s dandelions. Cherish loved ones while you have them. Bring tissues.
Course: Children – What you thought you knew about love, patience, and sleep deprivation. Topics covered: Redefining hygiene of yourself and others. Myriad uses for mommy saliva, survival housework, and reexamination of how new and nifty everything is when seen through the eyes of an infant. Also includes food: it’s not just for eating anymore. Bring tissues.
Course: Bliss, What and Where is It? Topics covered: Finding what you were meant to do. (Elective – Not all souls manage this.) – Learn to distinguish the difference between making a living and who you are. Also covered: time awareness and priorities. Strongly urged prerequisite: Missed Opportunities.
Graduate Course: One on One Q and A with Dean Al Mighty. Topics Covered:
God: Cancer, ragweed, yellowjackets: What were you thinking??? No subject is off limits. All questions will be answered/rendered irrelevant. No tissues needed.
If my soul went to college, the tuition would certainly be affordable. Who would know? I could remain anonymous. Should I stay in a dorm or off campus………..interesting. I don’t know what to major in, maybe humanness. What is it like to be human ! I already know what it’s like to be spiritual but really don’t know a lot about being human. Facing life situations on life’s terms everyday. Being able to make decisions without any handbook. What road to take, who to marry, maybe not marry at all. Try so called alternative sex, have children, buy a house, live in a city, a farm or a condo………..Eat bacon or Tofu, what does caffeine really do for me and why did God, or whoever that higher power is, create it anyway. Why is everything my human body crave bad for me? Why are my arteries clogging even though I am a vegetarian, I need human answers, I need to know how to experience life and me with skin. I need a course, or a manual or a cd, or a dvd, something to guide me in the art of being human and utilize this very little time I have on this planet called earth. I hope this college can give me the answers and if it doesn’t, well it didn’t cost me a dime…………..
My soul has gone to college
And received her masters degree from HKU (Hard Knock University).
Seventy years of rigorous-nose to the grindstone,
knock-her-down to see if she pops back up curriculum.
Seeking Perfection 101
Make no mistakes
Taught my Professor Guru A. DoRight
Tale tucked between my legs,
And camouflaged dunce cap
I sought a new avocation.
Enrolled in HKU extension
Wifely Submission Obedience
Offered by Bishop Benedictis Church
I excelled for twenty years
Moving through 101, completing advanced
Studies and considered it to be my major.
When a geographical change bus sounded its horn
To my surprise I packed my bags and took the ride.
This time to the big city
Full of many universities from which to choose.
FSU (Free Sex University)
I received one F after another.
SSSU (Sugar Soothes the Soul University)
I received all A’s
But soon no longer fit in the desk.
Wonder of all wonders
A neon sign from a distant small town
Caught my eye.
PLU ( Promised Land University)
Run by Professors Joseph and Mary Godsend.
Only advanced students need apply.
Soul Survival 303
A four year intensive internship.
I planted my feet and did the required work
My soul began to slip away
And in my dream one night
Gave me one final message.
“Your soul is not for sale.”
I planned and executed my escape.
Diplomas tossed to the wind.
Today I run
Don’t Sell Your Soul.com University.
Classes are free
Attendance not required
Collegiate Peaks
If my soul went to college it would study the art of silence, and the rhythm of breath. Deep in the mountains, among the twist and crunch of sun-burnt pine, my soul would inhabit their scorched broken scent. I would wander about in thin, chill mountain air—-climbing up and over scratchy granite boulders. Seeking nothing. Knowing only that somewhere, high up in these impossible mountains, possibility exists. I would traipse across narrow ridge tops: all focus, all breath. I would shriek and slide down icy damp snowfields—-then clamber back up for more. I would steady my gaze on the falcon as it circles above. I would insist that my body keep moving. I would insist that my fears slip away.
I always knew it would be like this: a woman walking alone into naked clear waters. Trudging along hard-packed trails. Sleeping under the stars. Even before I could speak, I knew—–that cathedrals made me claustrophobic and that hearts rip, among the jagged silence of mountains.
Anne O’Regan
Newton, Massachusetts
June 1, 2009
