By the time we reached the emergency room parking lot, he was already dead. The memory of my parents’ arrival is seared into my brain. I felt as if my body was detached from my being, the night surreal, the moment unending. Inside the emergency room, my brother lay dead on a gurney, his body bruised and bloodied. The men in our family convinced my mother and I not to go inside, saying that it would be too painful to see him that way. As if, seeing his waxy body at the funeral home was easy?
I did not go the second time. The afternoon when my father was the dead one. I watched him die before my eyes, and I couldn’t bear another trip to the emergency room. I stayed with my infant son, as my mother and husband followed the ambulance. There is no easy way.

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May 13, 2009 at 3:39 am
Judy Safford
Your third sentence says it all–my body was detached from my being, the night surreal, the moment unending.
There is no easy way.
Thank you for putting words to your pain and loss.
May 16, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Diane
I’d love to hear more. This is soooo powerful. It feels like there’s so much more to be said.
May 20, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Mike
Kim: That was very brave of you to write this and then put it out on the Internet like this. Your sense of brevity captured their deaths without compartmentalizing the experiences.